A Day in the Life of..

Last night was interesting! God moved on my heart as I stood at my kitchen sink.

As I was praying last year about whether to stay as a part of the Management Associate [MA] program or the Core Advisor [CA] program this year, I was looking at the similarities and differences of what the year would look like. As a CA, I would pour into a group of ladies and get deep in their lives, contend for them, disciple and facilitate what the Lord would want to do in them. The CA class thoroughly understands (and lives out every day) the principle of being filled up to be poured out. As an MA (wasn't as acquainted with what being an MA entails), I knew I would be serving the ministry in a lot of different ways really often and be 'behind the scenes' in most cases outside of my ministry placement.

The only way I could simplify the comparison was like 'mentor' or 'servant', even though both programs emphasize and have heavy doses (or at least the opportunity for heavy doses!) of both. I really couldn't decide, because both experiences would change my life, impact the lives of others, and would be extremely difficult and rewarding. Both served the ministry in very critical ways, but just looks different. So how did I decide? Well, I knew I was supposed to stay for a second year, so I prayed and pleaded with the Lord to close the door to one program and keep the other open. I told God the clearest way to show me would be for Him to choose for me. Next thing I knew, my core advisor sat me down and told me I wasn't accepted for the CA program, but I being asked to stay as an MA. Ha--ask and you shall receive, yeah?

And I'll tell you! I've learned so much about servanthood since graduating from my undergraduate year of the internship and embarking on this adventure we call being a graduate intern in the Management Associate program! It's one thing to serve, and it's another thing for your heart to be in a place of humility, serving, and yeilding to others. It's one thing to sacrifice time, and it's another thing to humble yourself and consider others as better than yourself. In Philippians 2, read that Jesus Christ, the son of God, did not see equality with God something to be grasped... Just meditate on the implications of that statement. We are told that our attitude should be the same. Paul goes on to say that rather than grasping at equality with God, Christ made himself nothing and took the nature of a SERVANT.

Last night, I sat in my car in the driveway of my house frustrated. I wanted to be alone, and I had managed to give my time away all day up to this point. I was exhausted and desperate. I didn't know where to go, knowing I wouldn't be able to get alone if I went inside. So I stayed in my car. I decided to lay down in my back seat, and I tried to adjust my heart to be set on Christ and eternity. Just as I began feeling the peace of the Lord, BAM, just like that, I was asleep.

My phone rang. I answered, a little irritated at having been woken... I'll tell you. My sinful nature just makes me sick. My friend needed my help, and all I did was grumble in my heart. A little begrudgingly, I went to wake up a housemate that my friend needed, and my housemate got up willingly and without complaining, got dressed so I could drive her to campus, took care of my friend, and then I brought her back to the house. I was really challenged by my housemate's willingness to help a friend in need, even after she had gone to bed for the night. My moaning definitely lessened as I noticed her attitude.

Getting back to the house, my housemate told me we'd probably be campused (a form of punishment for a lack of discipline) this weekend because of all of the dishes in the sink. What did I say? "Greaaat..." I intended to go sleep. I wanted to go to bed so bad, but praise God that He is so much more jealous for my holiness. I realized where my heart was at that moment, and the spirit of God in me cried out to wage war against my flesh. The Holy Spirit definitely enabled my next steps...

Without thinking too much more, I found myself not two minutes later standing at the kitcken sink with my iPod, getting a sponge all sudsy with soap. I picked up the first plate and got started. My heart and mind were not engaged, I was just washing dishes and then drying them. Maybe 15 or 20 minutes later, I was coming up on having done half of the dishes (Yes, there were a ton of dishes. Haha!), and I just desired to pray for unity in my house and blessing over my housemates and my house. So I did. Then, I petitioned for my friends and family. I started thinking about my future family, and I wondered how many nights I would do dishes in the future. I prayed for the selfless spirit of Christ in me to be strengthened for the kids I'm going to have one day. I wondered how many nights my parents had spent washing my dishes in the past. I took a break from the dishes to clean other parts of the kitchen. I asked God to make me more like Him. When I got back to the dishes, it was getting closer and closer to midnight, and all I could do was delight in the blessing it would be for my housemates to have forks, spoons, and skillets to use for breakfast in the morning. Note, all of the forks, spoons, and skillets we had in the house needed to be cleaned last night. That's a lot of dishes.

God reminded me of His son, and how nothing Christ did on this earth was just for his own sake. Jesus was so humble and such a servant that people found it offensive. He served without an agenda. Think about this... when God loves, He is just being Himself. When Christ, the manifest image of our invisible God, serves... He is just being Himself. He is the servant of all. He doesn't serve with expectation or an agenda, but because of who He is. As I washed dishes, I pictured the darling of heaven washing his disciples' feet...

I love being an MA. By the grace and the power of the Almighty at work in me, I love serving. The act of serving realigns my heart with the heart of Christ and draws my affections back to him. It's an honor. It's a calling. It's the Lord preparing me for a life of being like Christ--the servant of all. After a day of pouring out all of my time and energy for others, only Christ in me would be willing to wash the dishes for the house at midnight. I'm so humbled and moved by the reality of the work of God in my life.

After washing the dishes and the kitchen, I just cried. Because of self-pity or bitterness? Because I was tired? Because I knew it would be dirty again tomorrow? No... maybe two years ago those would be reasons for tears at a time like that. Just last summer I was often avoiding doing the dishes for my parents and brothers. I gratified the cravings of my sinful nature to complain and be rebellious... and last night I couldn't help but cry as I was overwhelmed by the love and gentleness of my God and by the beauty of Jesus Christ...

He saved me. He raised me from death. He breathed life into me. He is so patient with me. He gave an ungrateful heart a crown of beauty for ashes, oil of gladness for mourning, a garment of praise for despair... He began the work a long time ago, and we are still walking forward together...

Praise the Lord for the power and implications of the cross of Christ and the redemptive power of His love! Lord, that I would be a servant in love, to know and experience and live the love and life of Christ, because it took nothing less than my pure, gentle, passionate Jesus on the cross to allow me to do so, and You would give nothing less lest I be lost...

Mmm... praise God.